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I am a wife, a mother and most of all a Filipino, proud that my country Philippines, is one country that shares the same values of the Vatican, both having no divorce law. It only shows that we know our values well, we need not have to copy everything from other more developed countries as the United States. Most of us have still our morals intact. Most of all we value marriage and family. Let them do their thing. Let us do ours here. Having no divorce law does not make Philippines or the Filipinos less of a country or people. Either way, having one does not make us at par with the rest. It just simply shows how distinctly we are as people in our culture which is renowned globally as family and children oriented. In fact, it was the Holy Father himself who once said that “love for family” is the Filipino culture that we are noted for. And this is seen through extended families where grandchildren, in laws most often live in the same house.
My personal reflection about marriage and family is rooted from my Christian values such that I too believe that the strength of our nations is the family. As clear as the Ten Commandments that Christians from among us try hard to live by, so does what God said about marriage, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” I wouldn’t mind being branded as a traditionalist or conservative and that our country is too. I take pride in that. It’s that what makes us unique.. I strongly believe that if we destroy the family by a bill such as divorce, all our other unique Filipino values will come crumbling down. The thought of the number of homes that will be dissolved by divorce and the number of children left with unbroken families is just so shivering. What more to the question of how many times cans one is divorced?
The problem with some Filipinos, I am sorry to say this is their colonial mentality. They also compare themselves to the United States so much because we’re exposed to a lot of their media such that we believe that if Britney Spears can do it in one day immediately after her wedding, then so will we if we allow Divorce in our country. What will happen to our innate Filipino character? Western people aren’t like us in many ways as we have our own culture, values and ways of doing things. We cannot afford to being reduced to a nation composed of people who marry just because divorce is just around the corner in case it fails.
I recognize that there are actually marriages unions that went wrong and no matter what interventions nor counseling are done, they cannot really stay together, but still, divorce is not the answer. We must continue to work for the preservation of the sanctity of marriage and family. With a divorce law comes the silent encouragement to promote the destruction of families even before us knowing it. It might also encourage marriage couples who have differences to immediately seek divorce even if differences can still be settled. The sacrament of marriage is a life-long commitment, for the good of the children and the family. It is not about individual freedom because marriage in itself is a social contract. Legalizing divorce is another way of saying that the lifelong commitment of marriage is no longer viable. Any form of separation, divorce or annulment should not be introduced to every couple.
The solution for marriage problems is not in its dissolution; rather, it is in its preservation. Government should focus instead on ways to preserve marriage, should focus more on helping to strengthen the family, and the husband-and -wife relationship by finding out the reasons why they break apart.
Poverty, unemployment, prostitution, are the ‘social cancers’ that the government should deal with instead of coming out with temporary remedies to address the problems.
The Philippine Constitution mandates the protection of the family; it recognizes the sanctity of life, and marriage as a sacred union. One does not destroy or attack something that is sacred. It is the state that said it.
Let us be proud we are unique.
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