Generally, Filipino males are just like any other males in the world today. As they grow up to become adults, they would not plunge into marriage until they are not sure or ready to become both a husband and father or either . I don’t think there is truth to the matter about “shotgun marriage”, that by which a certain male is forced to marry a certain girl because the latter’s parents particularly the father poked a gun on him.
On the contrary, most Filipino males propose marriage to the girl of his dreams and saved hard earned money to celebrate a union in a form of a lavish wedding to some or even the kind done in haste as civil wedding so long as it would give him the legal authority to call the girl his wife.
Once married, Filipino males’ innate desire is to provide well for his family especially if fatherhood comes. While as a new father, he is also of great help to a new mother whose initial experience of motherhood from the time of the labor and delivery to the time the baby is brought to her for nurturing would be of great shock to others, that without understanding husbands, might caused the whole experience some postpartum problems.
Typically, we can see Filipino husbands taking paternity leaves to take care of wife before and after her date with the stork. At this point of time, husbands suddenly become the doer of household chores, doing even the laundry of the wife’s soiled undergarments and the baby’s dirty linens to as far as changing the baby’s diapers. I do not know if husbands find pleasure in doing this stuff, I haven’t had the thought of asking the question to my husband. What I know however is that husbands generally do these because they believe it is their duty.
Most husbands I know would claim too that the sight of their wives during labor and delivery encouraged them to do their share in whatever they can without complain during this most difficult time. It is their way of saying “we are into this together.”
Having to earn a living and provide for a family certainly puts a lot of mental and physical stress on the Filipino father. This despite the fact that dual family incomes have become a norm among Filipino families. More Filipino fathers contend too that if they are to financially survive, there is a necessity to pursue more zeal in this fast-paced world of survival.
Aside from the traditional role of being the breadwinner and providing the basic necessities of food and shelter to the more complicated needs of education and character building, Filipino fathers are also seen as providing protection for their families. While the mothers take care of the budget, food and nutrition, the typical household chores, the Filipino fathers on the other hand take the responsibility of securing the house at night, deciding on curfew time for the children, granting permission to children to spend time with friends and on doing house repairs.
And in this current time set-up among Filipino families nowadays where the mother works abroad while the father stays and pursues a dual role of being the father and mother at the same time. The changing times bring evolution on the roles of Filipino fathers in the family home. This evolving role forms an important part of the family, such that to the children the role of a father means many things to them. They look up to them as their ideal person. At the same time, he is their provider, protector, confidante, best friend, playmate, cook, teacher, guide, sport coach, morale booster and so many lots of other things.
Whatever role the Filipino father assumes in the family, it is half of the parental partnership he shares with his wife be it in decision making, acting as role model to his children and sharing responsibilities between himself and his wife.
In the family’s abode, Filipino fathers attacked fatherhood with humor and loving his wife, the latter requires humor itself. These two plays major role in fatherhood. Filipino fathers believe that the most important thing a father can give to his children is to love their mother. A successful Filipino marriages or in fact any marriages for that matter is grounded on the continuing, constant and active love of the father for the mother.
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