How My Mother Still Wants Me to Marry a Woman

I admit Mama and I sometimes get into conversations which are straight out of the Twilight Zone. We had another one today - while munching on Jollichicken and Burger Steak. She asked about the possible women in my life who I could possibly have a kid with! Really Twilight Zone material!

Still, like a dutiful son, I indulged her, not with tall tales, but with actual women I’ve met who may have fit the bill, if only I did not have THAT fatal flaw! I don’t want to get into the identities of these ladies, for privacy purposes, but what intrigues me, is that we’re having that conversation at all. Really, sometimes, I just want to tell her straight – which part of gay don’t you understand?

Yeah, a lot of gay men get married – but that’s their decision – and they have to live THAT kind of life! Staying married is hard enough – just ask any heterosexual – just imagine how much harder it’s going to be when you don’t have one of the most basic instincts for it – lust for your wife! How am I going to survive each and every night? Taking Viagra can help but taking it everyday and every time she wants me to do it to her will drive me to my grave early, due to kidney failure – it won’t have enough capacity to cleanse all the drugs I would’ve pumped into my system – just to get an erection!

And of course, the deceit! I simply cannot, in conscience, live with that. Because I know if I do play that card, it will be with a nice woman – and you don’t do bad things to nice women! This wise storyteller once said - ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.’

It’s a cliché when we say our parents always want the best for us but can we live our lives the way we want it and still make them happy - or do we have to pander sometimes to what they desire for us – just to make peace?