Remembering Papa

Papa died in 1989, long time ago na, but like the Chinese who pray to their ancestors, I also 'pray' to him when I need some advice.

I don't know if 'pray' is the right word, actually, it's more like just talking to him, usually in church na rin, kasi nga I realized, wala na pala akong older na male relative, who's still alive! No lolos, no uncles to go to for moral support!

You have to remember that Papa died, teenager pa ako, so as an adult, I have never really asked for his advice, kasi patay na nga sya. And I realized now, even adults pala need advice, and the only people who can give it to us are the ones who are much older than us, kasi nga, been there, done that na sila!

Anyway, I have been 'praying' to him, asking for advice, asking for ways to relieve the stress, and I feel he's still around, making things happen. Yes, I go to Mama din, but men think a bit differently than women, so mabuti na rin yung may male perspective on things.

When he was alive, Papa had a great sense of humor, and I have this feeling na everytime I'm feeling down, alam nya ang kiliti ko and certain funny things happen - usually involving boys I like in the gym.

I don't want to go into details but knowing that I was so stressed this week, ay grabe, within a span of 48 hours, natanggal ang stress ko with what these boys did. Parang way and above what they would usually do in an 'ordinary' day.

I think Papa just wanted to put a big smile on my face! Ako tuloy ang nagkandarapa, nganga! Don't know how to react!

I still feel very lucky to have parents who know how to put a smile back on my face!